giovedì 30 ottobre 2008

amore, mi chiedo

Rita Pavone can give you diabetes. Especially at nine in the morning when you're singing her stuff with a dumb look of happiness on your face. Perchè tu, perchè tu sei l'amoooore mio, lalalalaaaaaaaa. There is no transfer of meaning from the music to the person. There are no projections of the self. No olfactive mystery to trasnscend the experience. Just a bewildering cold now. Me and him, it's pure magnetic levitation.

mercoledì 29 ottobre 2008


every day another red rose dies. but that's ok. on a long term their smell would probably asphyxiate fermina. all of a sudden "could have been" has completely disappeared. somebody give my brain a little massage,ah. i'm gonna get myself a pair of angel wings and go around town eating strawberries.

lunedì 27 ottobre 2008


She likes the smell of her own blood. 12 red roses. A white bed, like snow. "Nessun dorma" fills the air. Fermina Daza walks around the room, barefoot.

domenica 26 ottobre 2008

Buttered requiem

This Sunday I live outside time. My heart is a gray blue morning of indifference. you you you. Your skin, your tattoo. You cause energy explosions in my brain.Emotional shocks every time I see you. Yesterday I felt caramel melting on my tongue when I realized it was you. you you you because I choose you. Because I want you to. Because you wear the jeans directly on your skin. Because you don't give a fuck. Oh, oh, oh, I see all the shit in your life. I see all the fucking things which are so fucking wrong with you.
Frank, I am stronger than you!

mercoledì 22 ottobre 2008


It's a perfectly circular night and we have sent time to hell, choosing to consume our Selves rampantly. It's snowing heavily. A jungle of colors explodes out of nowhere, thousands of butterflies. And the sound of their wings is a primary pulse. Everything spins.

Frank, I miss you.

sabato 18 ottobre 2008

Fluo hotel

Amy's father didn't love her so she grew up not loving herself. That's why she looks for men who will hurt her ( a reiteration of the father-daughter relationship). When they prove they don't love her, instead of going away, she stays. Not only did her father not love her, humiliate and terrorize her, but she also had a perfect five year relationship with a boy who raped her.

Frank grew up in the middle of a divorce and as an adult he probably hates his mother. I guess this is where all the lack of respect and hatred towards women comes from. In psychotherapy, psychopathic men like him ( huge levels of self appreciation, absence of guilt, absence of empathy, promiscuous tendencies, aggressiveness) are called "predators", they seduce through a "passive-aggressive" method which Frank applied successfully in Amy's case.

One night they casually met in the club. It was enough for her to see him to feel that thing called "happiness". They were both so high that they kept spilling their drinks, "you're a very special girl" he said. They went home, she put on "Witchcraft" and did the striptease for him. He laid on the couch with a skitzo look, stoned, unable to react to the clothes she would throw on him. She felt as if, while taking her clothes off, she were actually tearing her flesh off , offering him her soul.
She spilled pear juice on herself and he started eating her with a hunger which was synonymous to despair. She strapped his shirt and they fucked. When they stopped they started talking and things got pretty tense. He was angry and wanted to be left alone, she wanted to get into his soul no matter what.

He slapped her and she began to cry. Instead of hugging her, he continued to bark, accusing her of being weak. She shouted she was not his property. And then she went down on him and he became weak. She was on top, he held her so tight against his chest, it was the perfect expression and exorcism of despair and mal d'etre, the absolute abandonment. And she loved the whole soap opera.

After her father died, Amy met a boy who was just like him. Mentally disturbed as well, he fucked her brains pretty well. Abandoned by her best friend and living in a place where she did not know anyone, Amy became borderline. To this day she feels that the only solid reason which keeps her from suicide when the absence of meaning in her life is much too obvious is represented by her mother who doesn't deserve to suffer even more than she already has.

Frank is 32 and has smashed five cars so far. His body is full of scars. When she kisses his caramel skin, the scars melt into her mouth like tears.When they have sex she likes it when he strangles her and I believe there is a chance for things to go crazy... Just like there is a possibility for her to do a completely irrational thing out of the despair of being abandoned.

martedì 14 ottobre 2008

Fluo store.Opening.

New York.In the heart of the night we're burning candles and sipping on luxurious savory drinks making our minds even stranger to themselves. Portishead, Undenied has been on repeat for at least 40 minutes. Hentai projections on the wall, my husband is wearing a violet sweater, like the first time I ever laid eyes on him. Violet and green. He's smoking with his eyes lost while in the bathtub I touch myself with black water lillies.
Naked and still wet I lay lazy on black satin sheets. Frank will arrive soon and it will start snowing white cherry flowers. Frank is my lover. And my husband's lover.
He'll cover me in vanilla and ecstacy and after he's done with me, I'll be drinking absynthe, contemplating them. The sauna will be slowly filling with violet butterflies while we play climax through orgyastic dimensions.